I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
