He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize