So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
