What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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