I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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