as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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