Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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