He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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