it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
