please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm really busy with my period
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