Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
