she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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