My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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