Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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