Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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