is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
