let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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