ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
