I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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