We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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