I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
