What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
