reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
