She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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