thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
