so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
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I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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