Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
