it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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