so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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