We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
