Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
