I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
