i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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