Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
