how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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