In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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