dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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