we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
