I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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