oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
