This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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