Someone shit on the floor
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
