TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
