i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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