how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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