I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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