1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize