I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize