I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
