just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize