3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
