Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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