After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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