i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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