a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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