It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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