I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
