I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
