dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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