I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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