just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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