My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
