Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Damn victory sex feels great
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
