Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
