My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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