wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.