I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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