Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
